Throwing his 'Whizzinator' in a patrol car was the Florida man's second bad decision of the day

The Flagler County Sheriff's Office has accused a Florida man of coming up with a plan to beat his court-ordered drug test. Doing what on paper might seem like a good plan turned out to be difficult.

His first mistake was getting behind the wheel on July 14 and driving to deliver a urine sample. A deputy stopped James Shepard, 52, as he entered, because, according to the sheriff's office, his license was suspended.

That is a violation of the charge he used for many burglary and theft charges, News 6 reported. He was arrested for violating probation and taken to jail sitting in the back seat of a patrol car.

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“Driving with a suspended license was a first offense,” the sheriff's office said. “The second case was tied to his hips.”

What Shepard had tied around his waist was what the sheriff's office called a “Jerry-bound Whizzinator.” It was made from a fake bladder that contained fake urine.

There was a heater that was wired to a fake penis. For humor's sake, I hope you've gone too far with fake attachments. Those details aren't mentioned, but thanks to a surveillance car camera, there's video evidence that he dropped the device.

Rep. Eliot Engel, DN.Y., holds up dried urine, a heat package and an ad for The Whizzinator at a news conference introducing the Drug Testing Integrity Act of 2005. (Photos by Tom Williams/Roll Call/Getty Images)

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After complaining of a shoulder injury and being handcuffed to the front, he is seen reaching into his pants until he finally pulls out and drops a “wet wiener on the floor.”

When the deputy found the Whizzinator, Shepard said it wasn't his. The video appeared to contradict his plea, and he now faces charges of driving without a valid license, violating his probation, cheating on a drug test and tampering with evidence.

“This pee-brain-brain-brain-dirtbag was already sentenced to life, on community supervision when he should have been in prison for almost ten years,” said Sheriff Rick Staly.

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“Shepard terrorized our home building businesses and stole enough electronics to open an electronics store but was only sentenced to community control when his sentencing papers made him eligible for at least 9 years in prison. Now he has a string of new charges after throwing away a second chance to turn his life around. Instead, he tried to cheat the system. Now he needs to go to jail!”

Who knows how it would have gone down if Shepard had someone else drive him and Whizinathi to the drug test. As it is, you are being held without bond.

A Florida deputy arrested a man who was driving with a suspended license for a drug test. That's how his problems started. (Getty Images)