Sunburn, sky-high electric bills and other negative things that make summer quietly miserable

It's Wednesday, and that means it's time for the first official unofficial summer edition of The Gripe Report.

We talked about it recently, but I don't care what the science says; summer begins when we get to Memorial Day.

When the Indy 500 is in the books and the grill is firing, I'm in summer mode.

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When I was a child, summer was my favorite season. It meant no school, warm weather, and my birthday was around the corner.

Now, it might be my favorite season for those reasons and more.

So, let's dig into some of the worst things about summer.

Electric Bills Skyrocketing

I live in Florida, and that means summer is the time of year when it's hot outside.

Just like when it's cold in other parts of the country, the best way to play defense this time is to keep your – inside.

However, fixing the AC and throwing so many fans to keep the interior of Reigle Manor (our rented townhouse) in a lively climate comes at a price.

The real price.

I'm more invested in the energy bill than I thought I would be. I hate it when it's high and I'm into keeping it low.

In fact, I think the moment I said to my wife during the cooler months, “Hey, let's open the windows and turn off the AC,” just to be rewarded with a much cheaper energy bill, was the moment I officially crossed the threshold into adulthood.

But, in the summer, it is necessary to carry more bread, lest you die of heat in your home.

I would like to avoid this.

Children Leaving School

I don't have a problem with kids, but my wife and I are DINKs: Dual Income, no kids.

This is not to say that I am against having children that I don't actually have all summer.

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I mean, I'm up against other people's kids at home all summer and they're ruining the things I love to do.

The biggest problem happened down in the nearby swimming pool. When school is in session, it's like an oasis where you can relax, unwind, and not worry about an 8-year-old beating on you.

In the summer? It is none of those things.

I blame the parents. Kids, let's face it, are stupid by nature, and it's not their fault.

I was once a child and an idiot. Some even say that I am still the latter.

But it is the duty of parents to correct the mistakes of their young children. So, when they bump into a beautiful writer and his wife who are just trying to enjoy drinks at the pool because they're chasing pool toys, maybe they'll say something.

Another hot spot after school is theme parks.

Of course, the summer months are one of the biggest tourist seasons, and that means you'll be dealing with crazy crowds on top of the hellish heat and scorching sun.

So, pro tip: don't come to Florida in the summer and we'll all be a little happier.

Sure, it works, but enjoy wrapping and/or storing this thing. (Stock)

Getting Into Your Car After The Sun Has Been Setting

When you're out running errands in the heat, there's nothing better than turning up in your car with the AC blasting.

But before you get to that, you have to suffer through a hot car.

Is there anything worse than when you get into your car and grab the steering wheel, only to find that it's so hot that you're burning your hands?

Yes, actually, there is: accidentally leaning on a part of a seat belt that has been sitting in the sun and branding yourself with it.

I know sunshades can fix this, but those are such a pain in the butt. The ones that fold like an accordion are easy to fold and unfold, but you end up with this big piece of folded, light foam that you have to store somewhere.

But if you go with a more compact version of the two-piece sunshade, you may not be able to get it folded up and put back in its small pocket again.

That's the kind I have, and it still feels like, some days, despite nailing those little twists you have to do to wrap the pieces in them, sometimes they just say, “Meh, we don't feel like wrapping today, bro,” and you just walk away. BOING and the spring is open.

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I can't believe there are so few people who go into hospitals every day with scratches because of those things.

The real solution to this, unfortunately, requires a little money. I bought a new car in January. It's a Ford Bronco Sport, and because it's 2026, I had to download the Ford app before I even left the dealership.

I thought this was silly, but I'm not going to lie: I love seeing where I parked or how much gas I have while sitting on the couch.

But the biggest feature is the remote start. I always knew it was cold to warm up your car before going to work. What I didn't realize is that you can turn on your car and set the temperature.

So, when I go to my car, I can find it nice and cold, so when I open the door on a hot Florida day, I'm hit in the face with a cool 60-degree breeze.

It's a game changer… though I think a lot of people knew you could do this well before I did.

I'm dope. Let me take this.

There is still a non-zero chance that you will end up getting sunburned in your life, even if you mix things up. (Stock)

Sunburn

I'm usually pretty good about applying sunscreen, but more and more I'm starting to think it's a fool's errand.

I don't know if I'm really strict when it comes to sunscreen or if the whole beauty of UV protection isn't as good as it used to be, but I feel like sunscreen only works sometimes for me.

There have been many times when I swear I've got the back of my neck or the tops of my ears or my shoulders covered in a nice Banana Boat shellac, and I get burned anyway.

And is there anything worse than a bad sunburn?

Yes, many things are, but they are still very bad.

I just hate it when you do nothing and feel pain.

He jumps into the shower. Pain. He rolls over in bed. Pain.

He is scratching. Pain.

You know when they don't have to worry about getting sunburned? Places where it's too cold for exposed skin.

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That's what this type of Gripe report.

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